I skipped dinner

I skipped dinner

again

to avoid you.

Your shape,

my eyes dodge it

instinctively.

Those eyes

soft

menacing.

Is it me

who makes them spear my lungs?

Am I irrational?

Really,

what is your face?

Your eyes?

What are you,

but a feeling,

but pain?

Why should it hurt?

Happy memories

that are no more,

…that are no more.

I killed

them

mostly

didn’t I?

I did.

Emphasis on the “I”

I killed them.

I ended it

us being Taco Bell hobos,

homework parties past dawn,

memories on The Couch,

tickle fights.

It was my choice.

My decision.

I also put an end to the other fights though.

Those with tears.

Arguments

that demanded Excedrin.

Too much.

That left me alone

when I shouldn’t have been.

I ended it.

Yet I fear you.

What is it

that makes me seem an ant

soon to be squished

in a boy’s fist?

Being replaced

so easily

and seeing you happy

now with her?

Wondering if she’s just as “amazing”?
Sitting

watching you do with her

what you once did with me?

Probably d.)

All of the above.

It hurts.

A lot.

Still.

So I skipped dinner

again.